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04 September 2011 @ 04:12 pm
fanfic: the colours we paint ourselves  
Title: The Colours We Paint Ourselves (previously "As Yet Untitled")
Author: winter_lace
Fandom: Skins
Characters: Katie Fitch, Effy Stonem, James Cook, Tony Stonem... mentions of Emily, Naomi, JJ and Freddie.
Rating: NC17
Summary: In which Katie is frustrated, Cook gets grilled and Effy learns a secret.
Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part SixPart Seven
A/N: There is a fanmix in the works for this. Hopefully I'll have it up soon.

Katie wakes with a start. Her sheets are tangled around her, sticking to her clammy skin, her heart beating at a furious pace. It was the fourth day in a row that she had woken like this. Emerging from her dreams with soaked knickers and sensitive nipples desperate for attention.
Frustrated she lets out a groan and punches the mattress.

They had started out innocently enough. The dreams. Soft touches. Soft kisses. But as the days had progressed… as her frustration grew the dreams had changed. Dream Cook had, had her against the wall this time, thoroughly fucking her into oblivion, biting the flesh of her boobs, roughly pulling at her nipples.

Angrily she untangles herself from the covers, stripping off her pyjamas and wet knickers. There wasn’t even any point finishing herself off, she’d done that the last few mornings and was left with a very average orgasm and the empty half feeling for being not very satisfied.

Pulling her clothes for the day out of her wardrobe she idly wonder’s if Cook would mind if she just pulled him into her room and she just fucked him to get it out of her system. Shaking her head to get rid of the errant thought, she knows that wasn’t a solution. Whatever had happened the other day was a one-time thing. Plus… he was probably screwing some little tart that looked similar to Effy.

To say she was startled when her phone rang was an understatement.

“What?” She growls into the mouthpiece before checking who the caller was.

“God… what crawled your arse and died?”

“Emily? Ugh… sorry… I didn’t sleep well.”

“Well that much is evident. I’m ringing for a favour actually.”

“Need more money?”

“Er… no… me and Naom’s were actually wondering if we could stay the night. We came home a week early.”

“WHAT? Where are you?”

“Outside your house?”

Katie steps back to her window and glances out, sure enough she can see one blonde head and one red head on the footpath below. Great. This was just flipping fantastic. Because having Effy's eyes watch her every move wasn't enough the one person in the world who might know her better than she knew herself wanted to stay.

"Knock on the door. Cook will let you in."

"Cook's still here?"


"You haven't physically maimed him yet?"

"He seems to be healing well from the castration honestly." Katie replies dryly, hearing Emily choke on the other end of the line before there was only dial tone followed by a loud knock on the door. Quickly Katie pulls on her jeans and a hoodie, pulling her messy bed hair back into a pony. She jumps down the stairs, Cook's holding the door open while Emily and Naomi try to squeeze through with backpacks so big that they could probably fit inside them themselves.

She pulls her sister into a hug. Pulling away she looks over to Naomi she smiles warmly and says, "Hey Lezza. Take good care of my sister, did you?” Naomi manages an ironic grin and replies, “You know I took care of her good and proper.”

In the background Cook laughs and Katie chooses to ignore the double entendre.


The dinner that they shared that night was one of the better memories Katie had of recent times. As they sat around the table Katie could feel the glow of the good mood reflected in her smile. Naomi had whipped together some sort of chilli concoction with rice that was surprisingly good, Emily had picked the wine, Effy had made a salad that was, considering her lack of culinary skill, very good… leaving Cook and Katie to set the table that they now sat at.

For the first time in months Katie was hearing the carefree laughter of both Effy and Cook as Naomi and Emily regaled with much empathic hand gestures an Australian backpacker they had met on their travels who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“He just wouldn’t fuck off.”

“And Emsy cracked it. She turns around and screams at him… I mean I’ve never seen her scream like that ever… screams at him, ‘don’t you fucking get it? We’re dykes you dumb fuck. We like to fuck each other and no you can’t watch!’ he was completed floored. I swear his jaw just hit the floor.”

“Prick deserved it. Wouldn’t stop touching me the touchy feely prat, would he Naom’s?”

They look at each other gooey eyed and peck each other on the lips right at the dinner table. Normally Katie would have mentioned something about the fact that she was trying to eat but the moment was just too perfect. She didn’t want to ruin it. This is how she wanted it to be.

Cook’s leg brushes against hers under the dinner table and she can’t stop the rush of heat that floods straight to her knickers.


Sometime after dinner, someone very blonde could be seen the in half light of the night in the garden. Slowly savouring a cigarette.

“Out here all alone Naomikins?”

The blonde offers a soft smile to Cook’s approach. She’s just staring up into the sky watching wisps of grey cloud pass in front the moon. He lights his own cigarette and they begin their own dance around each other.

“Didn’t know if you’d still be here or not.” She says finally. Studying his face. Obviously trying to read what he was thinking or see the signs of his time in jail. The evidence of Foster and Freddie written in his expression and eyes but he keeps himself neutral.

“Sort out all that shit from a few weeks ago?”

“I found her at Jenkins and brought her home.”

“Nothing else?”

“What did you think happened?”

“I don’t know,” Naomi flicks at the cigarette in her hand casually, sending a pinch of ash spiralling to the moon coated grass. “I thought….”

“That I would have fucked it all up by now?”

“Can you blame me? It is your M.O.”

He shrugs, dragging sharply on his cigarette. "Things have changed Blondie."

"You're not saying..." she stares at him searchingly. Taking in the longer than normal hair, the nondescript clothing and his noticeable lack of strut. "... what? No booze, babes and illegal substances? Violent erratic behaviour? Where is the Cook that we all know and love to be annoyed with?"

He shrugs noncommittally again. "I'm still the same person babes. Just grown up a bit."
"But... no drugs?"

She's rewarded with the briefest glimpse of his toothy grin. "Occasionally. Just not around..." he eyes drift to Effy's upstairs bedroom window and makes a jerky head gesture towards it for Naomi's sake. "Same with booze really. No desire for violence."

"And girls?" Naomi pressed.

He hesitates and she notices the way he's eye's flick back towards the house and then to his feet. "No girls."

"I almost believe you." She replies dryly as they continue to move around each other in the moonlight. She continues to make mental notes of all his obvious differences. His normal bravado had gone... sapped away from either months in jail or finding out his best friend had been murdered.

"So Katie..." she starts.

"What about Katie?" He's quick to return, slightly aggressively. But Naomi is struck silent by his reply, gaping at him. Frustrated he flicks his cigarette butt into the darkness and heads back into the house.

"Well that was interesting." Naomi mutters to herself before flicking her own cigarette away and heading back into the light.


Katie thought that she had been the picture of hospital and generous host. Em's and Naomi were now sleeping in her bed while she shared with Effy. She'd almost changed her mind too, when she'd seen how Naomi's face twisted when the blonde saw the pink leopard print doona cover.

She'd also banned herself from thinking of Naomi defiling Emily on her sheets. Though a nasty little satisfied voice in the back of her head was reminded her every time the thought did float into her mind that she had dirtied them herself first... with Cook. And every time that little voice spoke up her memory flashed at the feeling of his fingers on her skin, the feeling of his tongue licking and nibble at her... and a burning flush crawls through her and she. just. needs. to. stop.

She lies stiffly beside Effy whose curled up beside her. She tries to avoid thinking to hard, unable to shake the unreasonable feeling of Effy being about to hear her guilty thoughts.

"I'm sorry."

For a second Katie thinks she's fallen asleep and her the voice in her head but no, her eyes are still open staring unseeingly at the ceiling and it had been Effy's small voice that had interrupted the quiet.

"Sorry for what?"

"I never said..." Katie can feel Effy's breath tickle her ear. "... I never said sorry for what happened at Goblers End. I am. I'm really really sorry Katie."

Katie moves, rolling to her side to face Effy in the dark, she can see the shine of those Stonem eyes. "I just..." She starts again. "I just... I was so fucked up Katie. I'm so sorry and Freddie..."

At his name Effy makes a noise similar to a strangled cat, as if she could barely believe that her tongue had betrayed her to sound the word. And Katie forgets herself for a moment, shuffling closer and pulling Effy into her arms, holding the fragile girl tight. Shhing her comfortingly while she sobbing, her body shaking with the effort of repressing them.

"It's going to get better Ef."

After some time her body become still but Katie still holds her. When her breathing returns to normal Katie chances a glance. Effy's face it wet with tears. Tenderly Katie wipes the residue of the tears away from Effy's cheeks.

"He's taken a little bit of all of us babes."

There's silence for a little while before Katie says, "I need to tell you something Effy."

"Okay." Effy says quietly. Katie misses the hesitance in her voice, not knowing that Effy had witnessed the tail end of the interlude with Cook, not knowing this is what she thought Katie was going to tell her. "I went to the doctors last year. I'm going through something called premature menopause." Katie gives a great heave of air in, holding on to it as she feels the burning prickling feeling behind her eyes. "I can't have kids."

"Oh Katie." Effy says, now pulling the other girl tighter to her and Katie let's herself really cry.

They fall asleep wrapped around each other, wet faces pushed into each other's shoulders.
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Current Mood: workingworking
Current Music: the sundays - wild horses
enchains: bran ♐ once upon a timeenchains on September 4th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
So I am not that much for fanfics, to be honest. But I've seen this around a few times and just now decided to read through it all.
AND OMG HOW GOOD IS THIS? You got me comepletely hooked, and honeslty I can't decide who I ship with who at this point. So I am just going to hope they all have a never ending orgy or something :P
Courtneywinter_lace on September 20th, 2011 10:04 am (UTC)
LOL. Glad you like it. I'm really picky with what fanfics I read too, so it's a real compliment that I sucked you in :)
(Deleted comment)
Courtneywinter_lace on September 20th, 2011 10:10 am (UTC)
Glad you're still with it :D
twilight118twilight118 on September 8th, 2011 05:09 am (UTC)
I love this fic! It's SO good! Great job!
Courtneywinter_lace on September 20th, 2011 10:10 am (UTC)
Thanks so much. I really appreciate the feedback.