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09 October 2011 @ 05:45 pm
fanfic: the colours we paint ourselves  
Title: The Colours We Paint Ourselves (previously "As Yet Untitled")
Author: winter_lace
Fandom: Skins
Characters: Katie Fitch, Effy Stonem, James Cook, Tony Stonem... mentions of Emily, Naomi, JJ and Freddie.
Rating: NC17
Summary: In which Katie avoids everyone, Cook is mistaken and Effy starts to watch everyone again.
Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part SixPart Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine
A/N: New gif!!! :D

Things had gotten awkward.

Katie had been avoiding the house, taking on extra shifts at the pub and Cook didn't think it was for the extra money. And it wasn't just him that she was avoiding; he'd noticed an underlying tension with Effy as well. Those normal distant blue eyes following Katie with an innate sadness. Not only that he was trying to not notice the way that Naomi watched every interaction he had with either of the girls, and by accident one afternoon he'd overheard Emily whisper to Naomi, 'I think Katie's avoiding me.'

Now he was noticing how Katie wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. How she managed to always be working during dinner time, the only time most of them were all together.

He was glad to start his new job to be honest.

The work was hard. But he had a lot of rage. It was good to come back to the house and pass out on the couch from exhaustion. It took care of the dreams that usually kept him awake. Most of the guys he worked with were pretty rough around the edges and they didn't ask too many questions. When his first pay check went into his account, Cook smiled the delighted smile of a child at the balance. He considered blowing the lot on booze and drugs but he only withdraws a hundred and spends the majority on groceries and fags.

A week later he decides to save his pay and buy a car. Just a shitty bomb. But something that would get him from a to b and he could muck around with the engine. He liked engines. He'd forgotten that.

He started contributing to the rent as well. Neither Effy nor Katie had said anything about the extra money appearing in the rent jar, nor had they said anything about him moving out either. He put in money for bills and often bought some groceries. But neither girl had made any comment on any of this. Only Naomi had raised her brow when she'd walked into the kitchen as he was shoving some money into the rent jar.

Despite the odd tension at the house, he finally felt like his life was coming together. He'd hung out with Jay a few times at the pub, never the Fishpond though. He'd kept himself out of trouble for the most part. He kept away from pills and powder, telling himself it was Effy's benefit rather than his own. He smoked a bit of spliff occasionally, but they all did.

They were spending another night around the kitchen table, Emily had cooked spaghetti, and Katie was absent again, due to be home in the next hour according to the brief text Effy had received. There was the casual talk and laughter they normally had around the dinner table. Naomi and Emily were talking about the flats they had looked at, and the job Naomi had applied for at a local newspaper, she was in the middle entertaining them with a particularly boisterous story of the guy who had been interviewing when there's a knock at the door.
They all turn their faces to Effy automatically, but she looks bewildered at the rest of them. "I'm not expecting anyone." She says defensively.

"I'll get it than, shall I?" he offers.

When he opens the door he sees the back of tall male figure with dark hair and for a minute his heart stops. But the figure turns around and he wonders why. The stance, the clothes were completely different but it takes him a minute to get a hold of himself.

"You look like you've seen a ghost mate." Tony says simply before pushing his way in the door.

Cook let's his fists clench for a minute before breathing out slowly and stretching them out.

Now he had a feeling that things would stay awkward and get complicated.


She braces herself before she puts the key into the lock. A deep breath and she tries to gather up all the scattered pieces of herself. She was having trouble feeling together. No matter whom she avoided.

When she finally walks in, she does with every intention of reflecting her old self confidence. "Sorry I'm late." She calls into the flat. "Lauren had another row with her man and I had to cover her till... Oh." She'd made it to the lounge and was startled by all the eyes suddenly on her. Cook, Effy, Naomi, Emily and Tony were all spread over various points in the lounge room and they were all staring at her.

"So did I miss something important?" She asks. She's never been self-conscious of her lisp. Ever. But now the sound of it makes her cringe, all those eyes staring at her. She searches for the one other pair of brown in a sea of blue but they don't offer her much comfort either. Probably if she hadn't been avoiding Emily as well she might have found some.

"Just dropped in for a chat. See how everyone is and I got to finally meet the lovely Emily and the enchanting Naomi."

Katie scowls at Emily as her sister blushes at Tony's words. Katie has a sudden desire to slap him. She's a little comforted by the fact that Naomi doesn't react at all.

"Great." Katie replies deadpanned. She notices his eyes flick to the generous amount of cleavage her top revealed. Self-consciously she pulls her cardigan around her tighter, obscuring his view. "I'll just get changed then, yeah?" She turns and makes her way up the stairs, closing her eyes briefly and mentally berating herself for being such a mong. In the bedroom she was still sharing with Effy, she was halfway through changing when the brunette appeared at the door.

"Did you call him?" She snaps accusingly. There's a hard look about Effy's expression, almost as if she feels betrayed.

"What? No!"

Effy's face drops and she fiddles with a loose thread on the shirt she was wearing. "I didn't think so. You looked so shocked when you walked in. But I thought maybe... cause of the other day..."

"No. I definitely did not call him. Do we even know why he's here?"

Effy's offers one of her shrugs. "He really only told us as much he's told you."

"Great." Katie replies pulling a hoodie over her head. "Just.... freaking... fanfucking... errrrrrrrrgghhhh... tastic."

Effy's face catches her eye and Katie winces, she'd forgotten that Effy was rather sensitive now. The brunette girl looked like she was collapsing in on herself.

"Effy... I'm sorry... it's not..." Katie chokes on the words, he mind flashing back, the feel of Effy's soft skin underneath her fingertips, the feel of her lips, that sweet heavy vanilla taste that lingered in her mouth. Katie presses her thighs together as she feels the hot rush to her pussy. Not only was see now having dreams about Cook, Effy was making regular appearances too. And it wasn't just when she was sleeping, whenever her mind drifted so found herself fantasying about them. The three of them. Together. Honestly she hadn't had such an arousing fantasy ever. Not even that one about David Beckham and that had been extra hot. She was finding it hard to concentrate. Her stomach was in constant knots. Every time her eye's connected with Cooks... or Effy's if felt like the breathe was taken from her body. Her whole body was screaming for their attention. She wanted to be fucked senseless. Until she couldn't remember why it was so wrong. Till she couldn't remember who she was anymore.

"I'm sorry." Effy bursts out. "I didn't want things to be awkward and I feel like it's my fault. And I'm so sorry because you've been ... amazing. You're my only true friend. And after everything..." She pauses for a moment, and Katie can see her eyes darting everywhere around the room, almost as if she was desperate to look at anything by Katie and see her expression.

Katie closes the gap between them and wraps her arms around the other girl, she feels Effy's arms respond in kind and they stand there for a minute holding tightly on to one another.

"I'm the one that should be sorry." Katie says softly. "It's not just you I've been avoiding."

They pull slightly away from each other. "I noticed." Effy replies, almost whispering. "Cook and Emily as well."

Katie feels the hot rush flush her cheeks and bites her lip.

"That day," Effy whispers, "I came home and I went up the stairs because I couldn't see either of you and... I didn't mean to walk in, but I kind of did... I mean I know why you're avoiding him."

"We didn't have sex." Katie says abruptly.

"Uh... but you... him... nakedness."

Katie shakes her head, it was probably better to come out with the truth on this one. "I'd seen my mum that day; you know her... she's a bit of a bitch."

"Does she still call me the lunatic Stonem girl?"

"Pretty much. Anyway she just said something stupid. You know.... forgetting that I'm infertile." Katie spits out the word, hating the way it tasted in her mouth. "And I was upset and I came home and Cook was being so nice, so caring. And I told him. And I hadn't told anyone but Em's and mum. And I told him. And maybe... maybe I'd gotten it into my head that no one would want me. That I was... half a women because of it. And I needed him. Just to prove to myself that I wasn't. But we didn't have sex."

Effy just raises one of her eyebrows, looking surprisingly amused.

"Fine." Katie admits deadpanned. "It was everything but sex."

"So that explains why you're avoiding me and Cook... so Emily?"

"She's my twin. As if she wouldn't see straight through me. Plus if I avoid her I have the added bonus of avoiding Naomi." Their eyes meet each other over the space between them and they look away resisting giggles.

"Come here." Effy says and pulls Katie into a tight hug. "You've been there for me, through all that shit, you've put up with all my crazy. You're the only real friend I truly have left. I don't want to lose you over whatever crazy shit happens. I don't give a fuck. You're Katie fucking Fitch." Effy pulls away and adds sincerely. "And I need you."

"I need you too." Katie whispers.

"You know it's going to take Tony five seconds to figure out what's going on here and be all insightful and shit about it." Effy states dryly while tucking a loose strand of Katie's hair behind her ear.

"Yeah." Katie replies. "He's just going to cause a fucken drama, right?"

"Maybe," Effy shrugs. "Maybe not."


The drinking games start Friday night. Tony comes back to the apartment (that was getting a little crowded now.) will two bottles of vodka, a bottle of gin, one of bourbon and one of midori.

"Let's get this party started." He yells when he walks in to door. A bag of mixer drinks, crisps and various other junk food in one hand, the copious bottles of alcohol in the other. He dumps the bags on the coffee table in the lounge room in front of Cook, Naomi and Emily; all three of them jump slightly.

Effy watches cautiously from the hall. Tony turns to her, smirking. "You're not going to give me the speech about sub-atomic particles are you?" She asks deadpanned.

"Not if you remember it so well." He replies.

"What's going on?" Katie yelled down the stairs.

"Come on down Miss Fitch. It's all about drinking games tonight!" Tony yells up at her. When he turns away Effy catches Katie's bewildered look.

"Let's start with something safe, shall we?" Tony says, pouring out drinks for each of them as Effy opens the packets of crisps and M&M's, "I never then?"

Naomi doesn't even bother to try and cover up her scoff.

"Yes Naomi darling?" Tony asks sweetly.

Effy watches as they all pass silent looks between them. Of course, none of them had seen Tony when he got an idea in his head. Effy knew this was some famous Stonem set up going on but she wasn't sure what his aim was. What his plan was.

"Well... it's just that, I never is like the more vanilla version of truth or dare."

"You say this in a room with a convicted criminal and someone who suffers psychotic depression? I think the dare part could get a bit out of hand."

Naomi blushes slightly and Cook looks down at his hands in his lap. When Tony catches Effy's eyes she just fixes him with a hard stare. But he doesn't back down, and to be honest Effy didn't expect anything less from her brother.

"Okay. Who wants to go first?"

No one volunteers.

"Me then. Fantastic. Okay. We'll make it easy. I've never kissed a member of the same sex." Tony takes a quick skull, followed by Naomi, Emily and Effy. Then Katie. Emily choked on her drink.

"Katie?! What?!"

"Shut up. I was just fucken curious as to what you see in them, ok?"

Effy sees a movement out of the corner of her eye and tilts her head towards Cook who was taking a skull of his own drink. "I saw that Cook." She says smiling smugly and loud enough for the others to hear. They stop their agreement and turn to stare at him.

"Fuck off." He says gruffly.

"All in all I think that was a good first question. Who’s next? Katie?" Tony turns to the girl beside him.

"Fuck.... um...."

"I hope it's something that uncovers more of your repressed gay tendencies." Emily says snarkily.

"I never pity fucked someone." Katie grinds out. Keeping her eyes firmly on Emily and leaving her drink sitting untouched on the table. The room is silent, all eyes focused on the twins.

"Fine." Emily spits. Picking up her drink and taking a quick skull. "Happy now?"


Effy's eyes flick to Cook. He hadn't taken a skull. Whatever he'd had with Katie hadn't been a pity fuck. Not that it had ever entered Effy's mind that it was, it was more Katie's suspicion than her own. Voiced over the nights since she had revealed that secret, said casually in passing but Effy had a feeling that Katie felt rather more than casual about it. Effy flicks her eyes back to Katie, but she hadn't noticed, she was still too busy having a death stare contest with Emily.

"Well this is getting interesting then. Naomi? You turn I believe,"

The blonde blinks, she’d been too engrossed in watching the tiff between her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s sister.

"Ah... yeah... Well.... Um... I guess... Fuck it. I never cheated while in a relationship.”

They all take skull's from their drinks, then the tension is broken and they all laugh.

"United over infidelity." Naomi says.

"Actually me and Naom’s have some news." Emily interrupts. "We got a place to live today, so we’ll be moving out tomorrow."

"Does this mean I get my room back?" Everyone blinks and turns to Katie, when Emily nods the other twin does a little fist pump in the air.

Much later, after much more alcohol and a lot of laughter Effy watches from the top of the stairs as the twins embrace and Katie whispers ‘Congratulations’ into Emily’s ear.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: productiveproductive
Current Music: birdy - skinny love
twilight118twilight118 on October 12th, 2011 08:15 am (UTC)
Great update! I love how Tony's presence forces change.

And Katie's fantasies are seriously smokin' !
jemekinskeffylove on December 14th, 2011 08:43 am (UTC)
this fic is really great! and i like that tony's presence always makes the story more interesting haha..i really really hope that you will still continue this since you updated this awhile ago..looking forward for the next chapter i hope you hadn't lose your interest to continue this fic coz i'm excited to who katie will end up to, hoping it will be effy coz obviously they're my no.1 OTP( :
Courtneywinter_lace on December 14th, 2011 09:28 am (UTC)
I am still writing, I probably have another chapter just about to post but life has gotten a bit insane recently (over the past three months). I'm hoping to get some more writing done in my Christmas/New Year break. So look out for something up around that time. :)