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05 February 2012 @ 04:30 pm
fanfic: the colours we paint ourselves  
Title: The Colours We Paint Ourselves (previously "As Yet Untitled")
Author: winter_lace
Fandom: Skins
Characters: Katie Fitch, Effy Stonem, James Cook, Tony Stonem... mentions of Emily, Naomi, JJ and Freddie.
Rating: NC17
Summary: In which Tony tries to make a play, Katie gets angry, Cook is shocked and Effy tries to gather herself
Previous Parts: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part SixPart Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten
A/N: OMG. It's been like four months... I know. Life got a bit out of hand. I'm going to try really, really hard to make updates slightly more frequent.

"So this is Goodbye, yeah?"

They stand on the footpath out the front of the house, Naomi is sitting behind the wheel of some unroadworthy looking yellow car that she had borrowed to move all their stuff, just a little way down the road. Two girls, once identical in appearance, never in attitude.

"You’re only moving a few streets over." Katie replies. Despite everything the twins hadn’t lived apart for longer than a few months, it felt big to both of them. Like they were standing at the edge of something.

"Katie… whatever’s going on with you and Effy and Cook… I don’t want you to get hurt okay."

"That’s out of the blue, we only live together."

"Don’t bother lying to me Katie I know you better than anyone. I saw the way you avoided looking them in their eyes, and I saw the way that all of you follow each other when you think the other isn’t watching. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m not sure I want to know but I just want you to be careful because… because I love you."

They embrace then. Katie holding tightly onto her sister and she feels Emily’s finger’s digging into her own back. All that time that they had clashed, that they had wanted to be seen as separate… now they were going to truly be that.

"I love you too." Katie whispers into Emily’s ear, giving her twin a gentle squeeze before pulling away.

"Don't be a stranger."

"I promise."

Katie watches as her sister gets into the yellow deathmobile and drives away, waving until she disappears around the corner.

"That was rather touching."

Katie feels her whole body jump, and glares at Tony beside her. He's got that self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Spying, where you?" Katie snarls.

"I'm insulted Katie... I prefer the term 'observing'... less stalkeresque."

She's not bothered; she's too busy watching the corner that her sister disappeared around. Despite everything she felt a little lost now that she had really left, she had liked having Emily around, not that any of them could tell, the way they had bickered with each other. She didn't even mind Naomi that much. It was more that their friendship was based on mutual snarkiness and sarcasm, originally a product of their dislike or each other now Katie enjoyed it and she had a feeling that Naomi enjoyed it too.

"Just the three of you again then."

"And you."

"Are you going to sort your shit out because I don't know if my sister could handle another emotional breakdown. Even with the little miracle pills the doc's give her.

"What?!?" Katie turns and glares up at him, narrowing her eyes. "What do you mean?" She grinds out.

Tony leans down and with a quietly calm voice says; "It means my sister's got a thing for you and she's not the only one in that house either and I don't want her to get hurt."

"You think... You think that you can come back here.... after all this..." Katie struggles to get a hold of her emotions, her rage at Tony's words simmering just beneath the surface of her skin. "Where the fuck were you when she was slitting her wrists and losing her fucking mind? Not fucking here, that's where! Where were you when Freddie went missing? Fucking not here!!! Where were you when I picked her up from her second round of institution because she stopped eating? Not fucking here!! I've been the one that sat with her on the bad nights. I've been the one that makes sure she took her pills and went to her appointments. When she spent entire days crying where the fuck where you? Not with her, because it was me. I was the one that took care of her. When she cried I wiped away her tears, when she woke up in the night screaming I was the one who held her till she went back to sleep. I made sure she ate and actually got out of bed in the fucking morning. And in all of this where were any of you? Your fucking mother too busy with her toy boy in Italy and your fucking father too busy but to send money... and where were you? The great fucking Tony Stonem... when she woke in the night crying for you, where were you? Not here. Don't you dare think that I would ever hurt her. Don't even let the fucking thought enter your mind."

She struggles to blink away the tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes due to her fury. But she took some satisfaction in the fact that Tony looked a little abashed. But the fury was still there, burning under her skin so she throws a blind punch, landing on his shoulder she hears her knuckles crack and lets out a little yelp of pain.

"Fuck you Tony Stonem." She grinds out, and stalks back into the flat nursing her hand, leaving him standing on the street holding his shoulder with a shocked expression.


Cook had taken to having his evening cigarette out in the tiny yard by himself now that Naomi had gone. He'd noticed the sudden change in the house. The awkwardness had kind of evaporated but there was still some sort of underlying tension, especially between Tony and Katie. The latter had stopped avoiding them though and had started meeting his gaze again.

"Can I bum one?"

Cook silently offers his pack to Tony. Effy's older brother hadn't bothered with him much, there was still some resentment for that shit a year ago when Cook and Effy had run away together but for all intents and purposes it seemed that the older Stonem had forgiven him.

"So... what are we going to do about this?"

"About what?" Cook replied genuinely confused, but then he sees that smirk, he knows that smirk; he was well acquainted with it. It was the smirk Effy greeted with him on that first day of College, when he handed back her list, saying he only had to get drugs... and sex.

"Look... I don't have time to fuck about. Normally I'd say a few choice words to choice people at choice times, orchestrate situations, manipulate it so that it appears that you all got there on your own but there are three things wrong with this. One, I'm not really that guy anymore and two, Katie's kind of taken to not speaking to me as you might have noticed and three I need to go back to uni tomorrow, which means I don't have the time accessible to do this properly, so I'm going to do it the messy way." Tony takes a casual drag of his cigarette and flicks the ash off the end. "Effy likes Katie, you like Katie, I'm certain Katie returns the feelings on both counts, I know Effy still has feelings for you and I'm pretty sure you do too. So all three of you are stuck in this house together, confused because you all like one another and all too fucken scared to do anything about it. And then there's this big shadow of Freddie hanging over all of you." Cook's fists clench abruptly at the name, but Tony fails to notice. "So my opinion is you all get your shit together." Cook watches as he takes one last drag and pinches the end of cigarette then flicks it off into the distance.

"I don't.... really...." Cook says after managing to find his tongue.

"Yeah. But you will. And don't fuck up my sister again otherwise I'll kill you." There's no malice in Tony's voice but the threat wasn't idle. Cook had the feeling that it probably extended to Katie as well. "I'm going to say goodnight to my sister, think about what I said."


"What did you say to Katie?"

"Why are you so interested?" He replies, mockingly.

"Don't fuck around Tony." She's never heard her voice this way before. The tone, the infliction. It feels like something Michelle would say. The way she drags on his name, she's never spoken that way before. She feels her teeth press down on her tongue and a pink glow rise on her cheeks. She watches as his body freezes, his eyes boring into her. This was Tony, who understood her even when she didn't speak.

"Your feelings are showing there Effy." He whispers.

"Don't." She whispers back.

"Do you love her?" He asks.

But Effy can only whisper, "Don't." again.

"You know he likes her too."

"Tony..." There's bite back in her voice now, the edge of frustration.

"C'mon Eff. You know he likes her, I know you still like him; I know that she's trying to figure out what she feels for both of you. You've got a pretty unique situation going on here. She's the one that you need to convince. He'll follow either of you. You've got an opportunity here."

"Shut up Tony. Just shut up." But there's nothing to her voice now. No anger. No resistance. She's finding it hard to restore her old wall of cool, calm and collected nonchalance. She stares at the floor, focusing hard on the carpet but glances up startled as she feels Tony's hands grip her shoulders.

"I just want you to be happy Eff."

"I know." She falls forward into his arms. The safety of her brother. She had missed him. She had needed him so much over the past year but he hadn't been there. He'd separated himself from it all. Had come out of it better than she had, but he'd deserved it. After everything that had happened to him. And most importantly she wasn't really angry. Because it was Tony. Her brother. And she loved him best.

"I'm scared." She whispers into his shirt.

"I know. But you've got me. You'll always have me."

"You're going back tomorrow, aren't you?"

"I am. I have coursework I need to complete. A reputation to live up to."

"And what's that? You're sterling reputation as a manwhore?"

"Well someone's got to do it.”

Effy let's herself smile into the soft cotton. She knows she can do this. She could be a different person. Someone they could both love, and could love them both in return. She could be better. Love wasn't the enemy. She had to know that now. She could be Elizabeth Stonem, broken but coming back better than before.

"Can you read to me?"

They fall asleep, curled up, facing each other. A book of Greek mythology open between them.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: britney spears - hold it against me
jemekinskeffylove on February 5th, 2012 10:27 am (UTC)
oh i thought this fic will never be updated again.. thanks for this i love the drama and the triangle of katie effy and cook but i'm for keffy sorry cook!
Courtneywinter_lace on February 5th, 2012 11:45 pm (UTC)
Re: yes
Yeeeeeeeaahhhh. I took my sweet time about it. Glad your still reading. :)
(Deleted comment)
Courtneywinter_lace on February 6th, 2012 09:27 pm (UTC)
I'm glad your still with it! Yeah I just had an insane past four months and I was adding little bits here and there but I just wasn't really with it and didn't have the time to make an update. But I'm going to try and make a conceited effort to finish it. I've got it in my head it's just getting it to down. :D
pennylane101pennylane101 on February 7th, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
lovely story. honestly